


Not Another Isekai Story

by YeOldeBard



Category: Pathfinder (Roleplaying Game)
Genre: Asexual Character, Bi-Gender Character(s), Bisexual Male Character, Furry, Implied Mpreg, Isekai, LGBTQ Character, LGBTQ Themes, M/M, Multi, Non-Human Genitalia, Trans Character, Video Game Mechanics
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-24
Updated: 2021-03-11
Packaged: 2021-03-15 13:47:00
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 5
Words: 17,056
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29684880
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YeOldeBard/pseuds/YeOldeBard
Summary: Skye and Cas find themselves in a strange world after they are killed during a freak lightning strike. Together, they have to figure out how to navigate this new reality which seems so different from their own. It's a good thing they had plenty of training in playing video games.
Kudos: 1





	1. Prologue/Awakening

“Skye, you healslut, get your ass over here.”  
Skye didn’t bother looking up from his computer, sending his character off to heal a fallen teammate.  
“Now why would I do that? I told you not to stand in her fire,” he smirked.  
Cas threw a pillow at their boyfriend, scowling.  
“You were supposed to be this great healer, capable of keeping a vampire from frying in the sun, and yet I lay de-”  
“You’re not dead,” Skye said, pushing the pillow off his lap as his revive went off. “If I were you, I’d get out of that fire. Your invulnerability will wear off in two seconds.”  
“Oh god damn it…” Cas grunted, lunging for their computer.  
“The standard sign of appreciation for a pocket healer is a nice blowjob,” Skye mentioned as he sent another healing spell at the vampire in game.  
“Fine, suck my dick,” Cas said, their character lunging at a fiery wolf.  
“I would if you had one.”  
There was a moment of silence, Skye wincing slightly.  
“Sorry, that was too much,” he apologised.  
“Yeah, a little,” Cas said.  
The clicking of buttons filled the air, before Cas let out a groan.  
“Fuck, why did everyone tell me to be a vampire? A single fire spell and I’m dead again.”  
“Hey, it’s a great way to add magic power to your attacks,” Skye shrugged, channelling another revive.  
There was a sudden thunderclap outside, and the two flinched.  
“Okay y’all, that’s our cue to wrap things up,” Skye said through a mic as his revive went off. “We have a storm coming, so let’s burn this dog down.”  
“You make sure to burn Cas down for us too,” a man’s voice chuckled over the chat.  
“Fuck off Josh,” Cas said, sending an errant lightning bolt from their daggers that exploded harmlessly over their other mage.  
“Who would have thought a fiery wolf would be such a bitch?” Skye muttered, his fingers flying over the keyboard as he dodged a fireball. “Hey Kyle, wanna pick up aggro again?”  
Their tank rolled around the wolf, trying to turn it away from the group. Cas let out a whoop as the wolf was knocked over by Kyle, and they charged in again, their knives making short work of the boss’ remaining health.  
There was a collective sigh as the wolf fell, the group moving to loot the beast.  
“Good job everyone,” Skye said, glancing through his inventory. “Anyone need the Firegreaves before Cas and I log off?”  
There was another boom, the smell of something burning, and the world around Skye went dark.

“Such a waste… Are you sure this is going to work?”  
“No, but it’s their best chance. Are the bodies ready?”  
“Just one last touch… There. Go ahead and send the spirits through. They should be pleased with the forms we chose.”  
“I hope so. They’ll be using them for years to come.”

Chapter 1

A flickering light greeted Skye as his eyes opened slowly. The world around him was surprisingly light, though he could tell the room he was in was still dim lighting. His entire body was cold, his blood pumping sluggishly through his veins, and Skye frowned as he sat up.  
“The fuck? Where am I…?” he breathed, looking at the dirt walls around him.  
A torch was flickering on a wall, barely granting enough light to see by, yet he could see everything in the room. Which was limited to four racks of weapons and the stone sarcophagus he was currently sitting on. Skye gasped, scrambling to get off the stone. His blue hands scraped over the rough stone, and Skye tumbled off, landing on the floor.  
Blue hands… scaled hands…  
He stood up, realizing the stone coffin was as big as he was… or he was as short as the sarcophagus. A tiny bag sat beside the coffin, the perfect size for his diminutive form, and the man picked it up, hoping to find clues to what was happening. With no luck.  
“What… But how…?”  
He felt so tired, sluggish, and Skye sat down, trying to puzzle this out. Was it a dream? No… he had never had a lucid dream before. It seemed strange to start now. He was a lizard. Something had made him a small lizard person… a kobold.  
Even worse, he seemed to be wearing nothing but a loincloth and shoes, his groin barely covered by the wrapping. The scalie in him was ecstatic at being a near naked kobold, but that was greatly tempered by the fact that he had no idea what was going on. There had to be some sort of explanation, some sort of… note-!  
The kobold moved toward the strange coloured paper-no, parchment, his eyes scanning the letters on it eagerly. And again, with less eagerness.  
“Skye, there is no easy way to put this. You and Caspian are dead. You have my sincere condolences, as well as a chance at a second life. This world was designed personally by myself to emulate a video game, with some added social differences from the earth you know. You may live in it for as long as you desire, with your lover Caspian. Do not fear death, for it no longer binds you. Choose a weapon, don a class, and embrace your new life, for to return to your old would end in oblivion. Time will remain frozen until you leave this room. Take your time to familiarize yourself with your new reality.”  
“Aw fuck, I’m in an isekai…”  
The kobold rolled his eyes, turning to stare at the weapons. Well fuck it, if he was dead…  
Skye took a deep breath, trying to get around that. Twenty two years old and already gone from the world… his parents would be devastated.  
Who was he kidding, they’d only be upset at the thought of him burning in hell for being gay. Fuck them.  
But Cas. Cas was another story entirely. Eighteen years old, with their entire life ahead of them…  
Well, if he had been made into his dream body… sort of… then maybe Cas had gone through similar altercations? Either way, he was wasting time here reminiscing about his death. He could do that when he found Cas.  
Defender, striker, blaster… there it was, support. His eyes scanned the weapons, surprised that there were a lot of duplicates. And even in the support role, there were a lot of melee weapons, like a staff, sitting next to a longspear.  
He reached for the spear, curious about what class it was supposed to be. Obviously the staff was a wizard… or maybe cleric.  
Letters flashed before his eyes, Shaman spelled out in bold lettering. A spiritual caster with a familiar, this particular weapon belonged to a great leader and buffer, or so the flavour text said. It didn’t sound too bad.  
The spear shortened considerably, still remaining nearly six feet long, as opposed to the thirteen foot length it had originally been. He had to grip it in both hands, but the weapon seemed surprisingly versatile, the kobold able to wield it like a spear or a staff. Plus, as a caster, it would keep enemies away from him.  
Words flowed across his vision, Skye finding that he was able to slow them with but a thought. It was a nice touch, and the kobold took a moment to play with the words as he read them.  
“Your connection to the spirits comes in many forms. As a support caster, you focus on buffs and healing, the life spirit or heaven spirit giving you the best tools for this task. Or you may choose to remain unsworn to a spirit, changing the spirit granting you powers each day. Your spirit animal can come in any shape, regardless of the spirit you choose. Please choose your patron spirit. You may not change it later.”  
It seemed an obvious choice. He was a healer at heart, and healing was definitely going to be a staple of the life spirit. And as the words were replaced with a small list of animals, Skye knew he had locked himself into the role of a healbot. He was okay with that.  
And with a fennec fox spirit animal... There was no way he was passing up that cuteness.  
A loud gekker startled the kobold, a fiery furred fox with giant ears appearing at his back. The animal came up to his knees, almost taller, reminding Skye how small he really was. He was sure it would make certain interactions a pain, but this was his life now. Skye would figure out how to make the most of it. The fennec was the size of a small cat, and Skye was surprised at the size. He’d always assumed fennecs were a little bigger than this.  
“Hey there Mister Fox… or is it Miss Fox?” he asked.  
The fennec rolled, once again startling Skye as he realized the fox was a he.  
“Well, that was… illuminating… I’m getting the feeling this place is rather free about certain things.”  
He brushed a hand over his loincloth, causing a stirring in his groin that he promptly ignored.  
“So, what’s your name? You look like a gem. Amethyst? No, wait, that’s a purple… Jasper? Those can be fiery gems, right? I’m going to go with Jasper.”  
A nameplate appeared over the fox, Skye blinking in surprise as Jasper appeared in plain lettering.  
“Great. So, I don’t suppose you know where to find Cas, do you Jasper?”  
The fox pointed with his nose, a door sitting against the far wall.  
“Well I’m impressed. You clearly know what you’re doing. Good boy…”  
Jasper let out a gekker, his tail wagging furiously as Skye approached the door. There was a sudden puff of smoke, and a kobold appeared in front of the shaman, a mirror image of himself. Words flowed through his vision, Skye holding out his weapon defensively as he read.  
“This will introduce you to combat. The first rule of combat is to hit enemies while avoiding damage. Kobolds have cold blood and until you find a way to warm yours each day, your movement will be sluggish. To attack a foe, simply stab them with your spear.”  
“Not very inventive…” Skye sighed as his spear stabbed at his mirror self.  
The other kobold stumbled as he was struck by the spear, a red bar appearing over his head. A dark portion indicated where Skye had damaged, a third of the health bar missing in one strike.  
“To avoid damage, keep moving. Dodging is a shaman’s primary method of avoiding attacks.”  
The other Skye struck, Skye barely having time to step aside. He brought his spear around, the weapons clashing briefly as he tried to pin the other spear to the ground. In doing so, he missed most of the next tip. He didn’t miss the neck of the kobold glowing a light red though. Some sort of kobold breath attack? Skye wasn’t sure, but he braced himself just in case.  
“Shaman magic can be used to attack, heal, or buff. At the moment, you have access to orisons, level zero spells that deal only a little damage. Try casting Bleed now.”  
An image appeared in front of his eyes, a hand slashing through the air. Skye mimicked it, calling out the attack for good measure, and a cut appeared on the other kobold, a bit of blood trickling out of it. His health bar dropped to half, a red -1 flashing briefly over his head.  
“Alternatively, healers can overheal, causing their target to explode when their hit points reach double their max. Try casting a heal spell by saying cure light wounds. Casting this spell at range will consume one extra point of mana.”  
The kobold echoed the words, frowning as a blue bar appeared in the left of his vision. Half of the bar vanished as he watched his foe’s body heal itself, the other kobold starting to glow until he suddenly burst in a flash of light. Skye looked down at the ruined remains, feeling a heavy weight appear in the bag on his back as the other spear vanished.  
“Okay, mana, check. Health bars, check. Overhealing… weird, but check. I bet that means I need to watch how I heal Cas, once I find them… though it probably also means I can buff them with extra health too… very carefully.”  
More words appeared, the shaman reading them slowly.  
“Mana replenishes after an hour of rest. Be careful not to spend too much at once or you will find yourself at a disadvantage. Spells use up an amount of mana equal to one plus their spell level, with some feats increasing cost. To view your spells, bring up your menu using mental or verbal commands.”  
“So… Menu?”  
A stat page appeared in front of him, filled with information that the kobold proceeded to slowly work through. Race: Kobold. Class: Shaman. Six base attributes, most at twelve save for a strength of eight, a constitution of ten, and a dexterity of fourteen. If it weren’t for the use of mana for spells, Skye would have said the sheet was for a tabletop role playing game, not a video game. He saw tabs for inventory, magic, skills, feats, reputation, and a journal, and the kobold flipped over to the inventory screen. Two longspears appeared, price listed as five gold to buy and five silver to sell. It seemed a rather steep difference, but Skye shrugged it off. Presumably there would be plenty more loot.  
He did notice the damage was between one and six, and there was another column marked affinity, a zero set for each weapon. Pondering the column, the shaman let out a small sigh as yet more words appeared.  
“Affinity marks how well you can use a weapon. Each specific weapon gains one affinity point per day of use, up to thirty days, with some points transferring over depending on weapon type. Each affinity point adds a bonus to your attack and damage with the weapon. For this reason, while hunting better weapons is an essential part of life, keeping a simple weapon can often be better for combat until you are more experienced with the newer weapon. Points decay at the rate of one per day the weapon is not used. Practice makes perfect.”  
A thoughtful grunt left the kobold as he switched sections to his spells. It didn’t seem that bad of a system, though he wasn’t sure how much he’d use it.  
The spell page was neatly categorised into twelve different sections, for spells levelled 0-9, a channel tab, and a separate section labelled hexes, which was greyed out. He figured that was a feature for later. For now, the shaman opened his orisons, taking in the three spells. Bleed for 1-3 points of damage with an extra point of ongoing bleed damage, Stabilize for stopping bleed damage and keeping the fallen from bleeding out and dying, and light, to create a small orb of bright light for ten minutes. He wasn’t sure how useful the three spells would be, though bleed did seem better than stabbing people with a spear.  
His level one spells weren’t much better. A spell to detect undead, a spell for granting his party a bonus to attacks, and the cure light wounds spell he had used against his doppelganger. The biggest issue was mana cost. WIth a max of six mana, he could barely afford two level one spells. Hopefully that would increase quickly, but he wasn’t going to count on that.  
The channel tab was a little more illuminating, revealing a way of healing multiple people for 1-6 points of damage, supposedly usable twice a day. It was a little less than the cure spell, but given how dangerous healing seemed to be, the shaman wasn’t sure that was a bad thing. Besides, it would help him save on mana if he didn’t have to cast a healing spell as often.  
Either way, he’d learned all he was going to for now. Jasper hadn’t helped with the kobold, and Skye figured he was just an important non combat pet, which was fine by him. He didn’t want his pet fox fighting anyway.  
“Okay Jasper, I think it’s time we go find Caspian. They’re probably worried sick about us.”  
Picking up his spear, the kobold used it as a makeshift walking stick as he headed for the door again. It opened easily, the sound of creaking hinges filling his ears… did he even have ears? Skye took a second to feel the side of his head, locating a pair of holes that muffle his hearing as his hands passed over them. He supposed those were ears, but he wouldn’t be getting them pierced any time soon.  
Stepping into a dimly lit tunnel, the kobold saw a white bipedal fox stepping out of another door, dressed in a loincloth similar to Skye’s. They had a linen wrap around their chest, a pair of small breasts hidden from view.  
Their eyes locked, and a sword appeared in the fox’s hand, followed by a smirk.  
“So, are you my first harem member, or some kobold I need to defeat?”  
Skye blinked as Cas’ voice came from the fox, and he rolled his eyes, his head shaking in disbelief.  
“Really? Your first thought is to find a harem Cas?”  
“Skye? Is that you? Damn, you got short. And scaly,” the kitsune said in surprise. “And you have a fox?”  
“And you got furrier,” Skye retorted.  
“That’s not all I got,” Caspian grinned, reaching toward their loincloth.  
Their hand groped at their groin, an obvious bulge appearing, and Skye let out a laugh.  
“Congratulations. Should I suck it now, or do we try to escape first?”  
“Escape first, sex later,” Cas decided after a moment’s thought. “Do you really think we’re dead?”  
“Well, that or you put way too much weed in the brownies again,” Skye said.  
“Man, that would make this one hell of a trip… A really fucked up one too. But you won’t believe what I can do. I can electrocute my sword. It’s really cool,” Cas grinned, holding up the longsword. “And I can turn into a fox too, but I’m not sure how to walk in that form really…”  
“Cool. I can make people blow up by healing them,” Skye said.  
“What? No way! Does that mean you can’t heal me?”  
“No, I should be able to heal you, as long as you actually need it. My main healing spell does 2-9 points of healing, but I can’t use it that often, so be careful.”  
“Okay, but this is an isekai, right? We’re supposed to get a harem?”  
“And what would you do with a harem?” Skye smirked, poking Cas with the haft of his spear.  
“Cuddle… and maybe get a couple blowjobs, now that I can actually see what it’s like.”  
“Well, when we get out of this tunnel and get some actual clothes, I’ll let you know what it’s like to have your dick sucked,” Skye said, motioning down the hall.  
“Yeah, why are we nude? Shouldn’t we have some armour or something? And what if someone sees us walking around like this?” Cas demanded.  
“Those are good questions that I would like to have answered without going to prison,” Skye agreed. “Maybe armour comes later? I’d at least like a nice tunic to cover myself. I swear my ass is visible. And being this small, I feel like jailbait…”  
“Nah, we both know you’re an old man,” Caspian smirked, stepping around the kobold. “But yeah, we need to find a way to hide your cheeks; they’re fully visible.”  
“So are yours,” Skye said, nearly eye level to the kitsune’s ass. “It’s really distracting, especially with the fluffy tail.”  
“Butt massage? Once we get out of here, of course.”  
“You bet.”  
They began walking, Skye thinking quietly. Things were changing for them, in a way he didn’t quite understand. Why would they get a second chance? There were so many others more deserving than him. But then, who was to say they were the only ones given this opportunity?  
“Cas, are we okay?”  
The kitsune looked at him strangely, their tail flicking seemingly of its own accord.  
“What do you mean? I’m having the time of my life already.”  
“I mean, we’re dead. Like, dead. There’s no going back that I can think of. Can we actually do this?”  
“Can we live in a video game and kill things? Yeah, I think so,” Caspian shrugged. “Why? You’re not worried about leaving a hotel room behind, are you? A job that worked you day and night and didn’t pay more than minimum wage? A family who would rather pretend you’d be in hell than accept you for who you are? Well, congratulations, welcome to hell I guess.”  
They had a point, as hard as it was to think about. Their life sucked back on Earth. They had each other and that had been it. But to assume that their life would be easier here…  
“Olay, what is the goal of isekai?” Skye challenged as they walked on.  
“To live out a power fantasy or slutty fantasy?”  
“And who’s living this fantasy out? Us? Or the people who brought us here? If they created the world to watch us fuck each other, shouldn’t they have picked people who were… well, sexual? We don’t have sex, and I don’t think that’s going to change. And if it was a power fantasy, why don’t they just come down here and wreck shit or save shit?”  
“What are you getting at Skye?” Caspian frowned.  
“I just think we need to be careful. We don’t know this world; hell, we aren’t even out of the tutori-tunnel yet. We can’t make assumptions about what we don’t understand.”  
“I mean, I think I know a little about the world. It’s weird, but I think there should be a little hamlet called Goldhill at the end of the tunnel.”  
“Wait, what? How do you know that?” Skye demanded.  
“Didn’t you look at your skills page? One of the skills was knowledge geography. I put a point in there and now I know things.”  
The kobold frowned as he brought up his menu, opening the skills tab. To his surprise, there were over twenty skills, five points listed as available at the top. A separate list was set to the side, a single point in Longspear and nothing else. He even had a list of languages, Draconic listed over Common.  
“Okay, what did you put points in? The last thing I want to do is double up on skills,” he said.  
“Um… Geography, perception, survival, arcana, and intimidate.”  
“Arcana? You’re a barbarian, right?”  
“Bloodrager,” Cas corrected. “I have magic… or I will at some point.”  
“Fine, I’ll take some of the other knowledges. Nature… Planes… and Religion.”  
Each point that he added seemed to broaden his mind a little. They had been resurrected by one of the main deities of the world they were in, though he wasn’t sure which one. There was a black dragon who was worshipped as the creator of the world, maybe that was the one? He was known by various names, Mystara, Thethar, the Black Wing, Daniel… It was a little heady to have all this information at once, and Skye took a deep breath, looking over the rest of the skills.  
Heal was definitely a skill he needed. Other than that… he supposed Spellcraft could help. Though there was a Profession skill. It was blank, and he wasn’t sure it was a good idea to pick it until he knew what he was doing.  
“Why do I have the feeling we’re going to be way off the meta?” he asked.  
“Does this world have a meta?” Cas countered. “I mean, the way I see it, I hit things, you heal me. That’s the meta in my mind. Just don’t heal me too much.”  
“Yeah, that would be bad,” Skye agreed as they walked on.


	2. One Apple-Picking Minute

“There!”  
They rushed forward toward the light, both grateful to escape the darkness of the tunnel. Skye let out a grateful cry as he felt the heat of the sun warming his scales, his blood finally flowing properly as it warmed up. Being cold-blooded sucked.  
Looking around, the kobold’s heart plummeted as he realized they were near the top of a large mountain. Far below, a river flowed through several foothills, the slopes covered with what his mind labelled a mix of deciduous and coniferous trees, complete with various hills full of tall grass. Skye was mildly confused by the thought, but at least he had a name for the type of trees. He could see a town in the distance, small buildings resting at the top of several hills, and his eyes squinted as he tried to figure out just how far it was.  
“Climb on my back,” Caspian said suddenly.  
“Why?”  
“Because you’re short and we need to do some trekking. I’m faster than you and I can get us to that hamlet in a couple hours.”  
“You can’t carry me though…”  
“A strength of twelve says I can bench one forty easy. How much do you weigh, like thirty? Fuck, you could probably fit in my backpack and I wouldn’t even notice,” Caspian smirked.  
“Really? And just where are you getting one forty from? Besides, that isn’t that much.”  
“Which means that our scores are below average, right? I think it’s strength plus two times ten. Either way, I can easily carry you on my back. You won’t even slow me down.”  
“And what about Jasper?”  
“Oh. Right. Okay, Jasper goes in your bag, you go in my bag, I get us off this mountain and everyone’s happy,” Cas suggested, pulling their large bag off their back.  
“And what if you get in trouble?”  
“Then you cast from my bag, pocket healer.”  
Skye looked at the bag with a frown, shaking his head. Even Jasper would have a hard time fitting inside it.  
“No, we’ll just walk together and you’ll just have to slow down,” he decided, setting his spear to use as a trekking pole. “Look, there’s a footpath over there. This tunnel must have been used for something.”  
“Yeah, a spawn point.”  
They moved down the path, Skye taking his time to make sure he didn’t slip. The last thing he needed was to break a leg, though he wouldn’t mind being stuck in bed while a nurse healed his leg, as long as she-  
“Wait… Cas… I think we have a problem.”  
The bloodrager stopped, looking back at the kobold.  
“So you admit it, you need me to carry you.”  
“No, not that. This place doesn’t have girl nurses…”  
Caspian snorted, shaking their head.  
“So what? You’ve always been bi. Just get with a male nurse.”  
“Yeah, but what I’m saying is… they don’t have girl anything.”  
The kitsune’s eyebrows raised.  
“What… what are you saying?”  
“I’m saying girls don’t seem to exist, or at least not in the world according to my heal stat.”  
“Well what does your heal stat know?”  
“Probably as much as your geography and my nature… And both nature and healing are telling me there’s only one biological sex on this world,” Skye said, shaking his head.  
“So… the entire reason I grew a dick is because I literally can’t have a vagina?” Cas demanded. “Jesus Christ, it’s like one extreme or the other…”  
“No, but apparently you can still get pregnant… fuck this is disturbing. But… like, you only get pregnant if you want to. Like the baby grows off your will?”  
“Oh even better. We’re in a fucking mpreg isekai!” Caspian yelled, kicking at a rock.  
Their hands moved up to cup their small breasts, and Cas looked at Skye almost victoriously.  
“Okay healer, explain these.”  
“Guys can have boobs, especially if they’re fertile,” Skye said, startled by how quickly the information came to him. “Like how the cows and deer are milked? But I don’t even have nipples, so I might be wrong. Or I hatched from an egg...”  
“They drink deer milk here?”  
Cas blinked slowly, shaking their head.  
“Are we sure it’s milk and not-”  
“Yes, it comes from their tits,” Skye sighed, rolling his eyes.  
“Hey, throw me in a world where guys give birth and I’m going to have questions. And I don’t care what my body says, I’m still bigender.”  
“Of course you are. And I think genders are still present here, though they are a lot looser.”  
“You better not be about to spout some alpha omega bullshit Skye.”  
“No, nothing like that,” the kobold said quickly, starting to walk again. “Well… sort of, with the dominance themes, but they’re flexible. Can we try to get off this mountain before you start a rockslide with your yelling?”  
Caspian grumbled, but followed their boyfriend.  
“Continue…”  
“Okay, so it’s like everyone is bigender naturally. They can be both dominant and submissive, but the genders are more about societal interaction than sex. Everyone seems to use masculine pronouns. Though I’m not sure about much more than that. I doubt those are even the right terms.”  
“Okay, so what’s stopping you from fucking yourself?”  
“Um… incest, of a sort. But like, cannibalism too? I don’t get it really, but it’s like, you’d get really sick if you tried and even if the result was viable, it would be so deformed as to be dead at birth.”  
“Jesus…”  
“And that should probably stop too. Here I think he would be Ryan…” Skye added. “Though Ryan didn’t die, he was just lost to time…? Yeah, it’s not the same at all, there’s really no Jesus here, and I for one have no desire to start a Catholic church here. Fuck, now I get to learn theology all over again…”  
“Are we going to start a crusade if we don’t follow the gods?”  
“Not that I know of. Most of the religion seems really chill. Love who you want and keep everyone happy.”  
“Then I’m not bothering with gods. They may have resurrected me, but I’m kind of pissed at them for not giving me the right body. Again,” Caspian grunted.  
“I mean, I think they tried. Why else would I be a kobold? So… A for effort? But I guess even the gods couldn’t change the laws of nature in this universe… And they don’t really pretend otherwise.”  
“Fuck, and you get all of that from one point in religion?”  
Skye stepped over a gap in the path, Jasper leaping across after him. He shrugged as Caspian joined them.  
“Hey, better that I know than we reveal our lack of knowledge to the locals, right? What about you? Do you know anything useful?”  
“Um… Okay, these mountains are the Birth, named for the tunnel we came from… so we’re not the first to be resurrected. The tunnel branches off through the mountain to the east, leading to a large village where local heroes gather for quests,” Caspian offered, pointing back toward the tunnel. “I don’t know anything about the locals though, just locations around here.”  
“It’s a start,” Skye shrugged as they reached a gentler decline. “Do you think they just choose random people and bring them here for their entertainment?”  
“Who, the gods? Probably. It beats being a corpse rotting in the ground.”  
Skye had to agree there. Looking around him, the kobold realized the world around them was beautiful, no pollution filling the air, nothing but birdsong breaking the silence of what his mind told him was morning. Bright sunlight shone upon them, the kobold’s scales soaking up the warmth, invigorating Skye as he climbed over a boulder in the path. Despite the weirdness of the world, it didn’t seem that bad of a place.

They reached an orchard at midday, glistening golden apples sitting ripe on trees. It told Skye two things, first, the world around them was likely experiencing autumn, and second, as his stomach growled, there was hunger in this world.  
Caspian reached for an apple, Skye swatting their hand away.  
“Hey!”  
“Hey yourself. I doubt we should just be taking apples without permission.”  
“There are a dozen trees here. I doubt whoever lives here will begrudge us one apple.”  
“Yeah, sure. That’s exactly what got Odysseus’ men killed,” Skye grumbled.  
“Oh look at you with your classical literature. First of all, Odysseus had nothing to do with the golden apple; you’re thinking of the bulls of Helios. Heracles stole the apples, and it wasn’t even him, he got Atlas to do it-”  
“Okay, fine, I get it, I had my myths mixed up. But still, do you really want to be stealing from someone? Why don’t we find someone and ask for an apple, since they wouldn’t begrudge us one?”  
“Ugh, I’m so spanking your ass when I get you in a bedroom…” Cas muttered, rolling their eyes.  
They moved down a path between the trees. A small structure came into view, built into the hillside, and the two walked toward the building.  
“So… are you also getting the impression that we’re about to meet a hobbit?” Cas asked.  
“Is this New Zealand?”  
“Well it sure ain’t Kansas Toto…”  
“No, see, you’re the canine here. You get to be Toto.”  
“Yeah, but Toto was a Cairn Terrier, not a fox.”  
“Fine, what was the fox’s name, Tod?”  
“No, I think Tod was the dog.”  
“I’m pretty sure he was the fox,” Skye insisted. “The dog was Copper. Don’t mess with me, I read the book.”  
“Ooh, look at you, all low and mighty…”  
“Fuck you.”  
Skye approached the strange dwelling, really nothing more than a porch from what he could tell on the outside. Plants were sitting outside the wood structure, a mix of mint, lavender, and even some marigolds sprinkling the yard around them. He was surprised that he could tell what the mint was, but shrugged it off. His nature skill was hard at work.  
Knocking on the thick wood door, the kobold stepped back, his head running into Cas’ crotch.  
“Hey, watch where you’re going,” Caspian grumbled, straightening their loincloth.  
The door opened, a middle aged man standing in the entrance with a small frown. He wore a pair of leather boots and a rather revealing long tunic, his large chest and his thighs largely bare. Skye wasn’t sure if it was supposed to be a sort of dress or if the man was getting ready for bed. A nameplate over his head introduced him as Brett Cropper and he seemed in surprisingly good shape for his age.  
“You two adventurers?” Brett asked gruffly. “I suppose you’re looking for work. We don’t get a lot of beastkin around here.”  
Skye glanced back at Caspian, the kitsune nodding.  
“Um, yes sir. We’re from the mountains-”  
“Newcomers eh? And probably saw my place and thought about picking my apples, right? Fine, pick away. I need ten apples for a pie. If you bring them to me, you’ll get five copper each, a hundred general experience, and two apples. Deal?”  
“Experience?” Caspian asked behind the kobold. “What experience?”  
“Don’t they teach you adventurers anything? Look, you’re level one right now. If you want to be able to face challenges later, you have to level up your gear and your abilities. You need experience for that,” the human scoffed. “You’ll get general experience for this task, and you can save it to level up, or use it to increase a skill.”  
“Deal,” Skye said, not quite sure it was worth it.  
He stepped back from the door, feeling the man’s eyes staring at his ass. Skye’s tail raised involuntarily at the thought, his face burning, and he hurried away, slightly annoyed that Cas was easily keeping up with his short legs just by walking normally.  
“What’s up with your tail?” the kitsune frowned.  
“You know that feeling you get when you’re about to do something naughty? I think it’s something like that. He was totally checking me out. And my ass is wet now, like it’s getting ready for something,” Skye muttered.  
“I mean, are you surprised? Your ass is bare to the world. I would be staring at it if you could keep ahead of me.”  
Sky flipped him off as they returned to the apple orchard. Looking up at the tall trees, the kobold sighed as he busied himself with searching for fallen apples on the ground.  
“So what the fuck is up with them knowing about experience?” Cas demanded, joining him on the ground.  
“I guess it makes it easier to communicate if everyone knows how the world works?” Skye shrugged. “It’s interesting that experience can be used for skills though. Does that mean we could level up our weapons too?”  
“I think so. Like, my longsword is at one point right now, but if I tried to level it to two, maybe fighting would be easier. Though I think I might want to switch to dual wielding. This is a dex heavy character. Sort of. And maybe sparring would give us experience for weapons specifically?” Cas added thoughtfully. “This is a boring quest though.”  
“I have a thought-”  
“Uh oh…”  
“Shut up,” Skye scowled, bending to pick up a third apple. “The note I got said that death no longer binds us. That implies that we can respawn if we die, right?”  
“Don’t ask me to test that theory,” Caspian frowned.  
“No, of course not. But if it’s true, wouldn’t it make sense for others to respawn too?”  
Caspian glanced back at the patio, shaking their head slowly.  
“Okay, and what if we kill him and we’re wrong?”  
“Kill him-? NO! God Cas, you can be so stupid sometimes. What do you do to level up in RPGs?”  
“Grind quests?”  
“Or…?”  
The kitsune frowned, thinking.  
“Well, in Earth games you could gain experience by killing mobs…”  
“And if those mobs follow the laws of the world?”  
“Oh! I mean, we can try grinding mobs, but where would we find a place to do it?”  
“If we find some rabbits to test the theory on, maybe we can look for a goblin camp after?” Skye suggested.  
“Wait an apple picking minute…”  
Skye groaned, smacking Cas’ head as they knelt to pick up another apple.  
“Hey!”  
The kitsune rubbed their head, scowling at the kobold.  
“Come on, it was a good pun. All good puns are groan inducing.”  
“Whatever. What were you saying?”  
Cas huffed quietly, watching Jasper bat an apple toward them. They picked it up, before continuing.  
“Everyone seems to be sentient, right? What if the mobs are sentient? What if killing them just makes them come back angry at being killed?”  
“What’s your point? They’re goblins.”  
“No, but think about the last time you were in PvP. Remember that dude who kept sniping you over and over? And he was so far above your level you couldn’t touch him?”  
Skye nodded slowly.  
“Fine, we’ll ditch that idea. Or, we’ll keep that idea and try to choose our hunting grounds a little more fairly.”  
“So, be that douche that’s always going, ‘ Oh you almost had me. Try again!’”  
“Well what do you suggest then?” Skye grumbled, setting his bag back on his shoulders.  
Cas shrugged as the two headed back to the man.  
“War zone? At least if mobs were trying to dogpile us, I would feel better about murdering them all over and over again.”  
“Okay, but where are we even going to find work as mercenaries in a world where death probably isn’t permanent? What would the purpose of war be?”  
“Okay, so you know that one game with the PvP war? You set the castle under siege and suddenly the defenders can’t spawn there? Well, what if this world had a similar mechanic? They have to spawn a castle back and charge forward again to the castle under siege. So, attrition to a point, but also like a game of Go, where you try to capture as much territory as you can by placing castles strategically,” Caspian grinned, looking proud of themself.  
“That is… not a bad theory,” Skye said. “We’ll have to ask around. But I still want to try it on some rabbits first. And I want to see them respawn.”  
They returned to Farmer Brett, handing over the ten apples. He handed them each five copper coins and an apple.  
“Are you two heading to Goldhill?”  
“Yes sir,” Skye said, trying to look up past the sizable bulge in the man’s tunic at his face.  
“Great. You’ll get another four coppers if you deliver a pie to Potter for me.”  
“I think we can do that,” Caspian agreed, stepping into the building as Brett opened the door wide.  
Skye followed behind, feeling a little uncomfortable after the man’s earlier attention.  
“You two are the first couple I’ve seen emerge from the Birth,” Brett mentioned as they passed into the hillside.  
A small house awaited them beyond the porch, small glowing gems sitting in bowls at strategic points in the building. It was surprisingly warm and cozy, various entrances to other rooms branching off the main room. They followed the man into a kitchen area, Brett picking up a knife and cutting into the apples.  
The fruit fell apart into a bowl, diced in two cuts each, and Skye blinked in shock at the ease with which the man cooked. He’d always hated cooking, but if it was as simple as cutting twice and mixing, Skye could learn to enjoy it.  
“Yeah, we came here together,” Caspian said, grabbing Jasper as the small fox tried to stalk an apple.  
The familiar let out an angry gekker, Caspian shaking their head.  
“No Jasper, we’ll get you food later.”  
“And by your dress, you really are newcomers, aren’t you?” Brett added, mixing in a block of sugar and a flask of water.  
Skye nodded slowly, feeling his mind stretch as he watched the man work. Almost as though he was gaining experience just by sitting here.  
“So… this dress is normal for new adventurers?” he asked.  
“Oh yes. I understand for many people it can be a shock,” Brett replied. “The Freeborn Barony is very free with nudity. Though kobolds would do well to remain covered during the winter months. It can be quite cold around here. And if you plan on leaving the Barony eventually, you should get something more covering.”  
The apples went into a pie shell before being slid into a clay oven, sitting low to the ground with a domed roof. Skye looked on with interest, realizing that this was how things were done before the days of electricity. Granted, the timing seemed skewed, but it still left the shaman with the sense that he was witnessing medieval cooking.  
A few minutes later, the pie was pulled out, the smell of cooked apples filling the air, and Skye had to stop himself from drooling. He stared at the pie as Brett set it into an open window, waiting for the pie to cool down. The kobold kept an eye on Jasper, making sure the fennec stayed away from the pie.  
“What can you tell us about the world in general?” Caspian asked as they waited.  
“You mistake me for a traveller. I’m lucky if I can get down to Goldhill every other day,” Brett grunted. “I have an idea. We need to wait for the pie to cool. Why don’t we have some fun while we wait?”  
“Fun?” Caspian frowned.  
“Um…” Skye echoed the frown. “I… we… we’re together together…”  
Brett let out a quiet sigh.  
“Typical adventurers… mark my words, you two will be going at it like rabbits before long. It’s how your kind work, save the prince, claim his hole. Slay the dragon, sleep with the king… Why not start early? I can show you how to enjoy yourselves.”  
“I don’t have sex,” Caspian protested.  
“Yeah, and I’m not having sex with anyone I’m not with,” Skye added. “I’m sorry, but we can’t help you there.”  
“You realize that everyone fucks here, right? You hit your teen years and it becomes a daily part of life. I’m not the only one who’s going to ask you-”  
“And we will turn them down too,” Skye said firmly. “We’ll deliver your pie to Potter, but that is where our obligation ends.”  
“Understood,” Brett grumbled. “But what are you going to do if you’re captured by goblins? They’ll fuck those words right out of you, and you’ll enjoy every moment of it.”  
Skye and Caspian looked at each other in shock and revulsion.  
“We’ll just… have to deal with that when it happens, I guess…” Caspian muttered, fox ears folding in discomfort.  
“Trust me, you think it’s unpleasant now, but when they work their magic, you’ll be begging for their dicks,” Brett said assuredly. “It’s the way things work around here.”  
“It’s rape,” Skye said flatly.  
The human shrugged, pulling the now cooled pie out of his window.  
“Call it what you will. Either way, you’ll enjoy it when your time comes. I know I do when they come around every month or so. It’s not so bad, the urge to get fucked fades after a day or so, though getting decapitated after they’re done does get rather old.”  
Skye and Caspian glanced at each other, eyes wide. There was that question answered. But it left so many other questions in its wake.  
“Well… we’ll uh… we’ll get going then,” Skye said, as the pie vanished into his bag. “How exactly do we get to Goldhill?”


	3. The Salted Hog

The sun was setting as they approached the hamlet on the hill. Skye wished he could have enjoyed the setting sun, or the myriads of colours dancing on the clean horizon, but they were on the wrong side of the hill for that.

A tall fence protected the hill, though the gate was still open. A man in deerskin pants stood near the gate, giving the kobold and the kitsune an appraising look. A nameplate overhead gave his name as Jacob Yates, and Skye wondered why more people didn’t have typical fantasy names. In fact, they seemed almost Anglican if he had to guess.

“You adventurers?” Jacob asked.

“Yes sir, we’re bringing a pie for Potter from Cropper,” Skye offered.

Sighing, the guard stepped aside.

“You’ll be staying for the night then. He’s in the midhill, the home with the kiln out front. If anything is broken or goes missing, you’ll be left to fend with the goblins tomorrow,” he grunted, closing the gate behind them.

“Not very friendly…” Cas muttered, their eyes looking back at the guard as they walked away.

The two slowly climbed the hill, Skye’s legs burning by the time they reached what seemed to be the more residential part of the hamlet. There weren’t many buildings to begin with, and the house was easy to find, a large clay tower sitting outside with smoke rising from the top. A well sat nearby, and Skye swallowed drily, moving toward the promise of water after the long day’s walk.

“Hold up there,” Cas said, pushing past the kobold.

The bloodrager dropped a bucket into the well, hearing a distinct splash a second later. Setting their arms on a winch, the fox began straining, winding the bucket back to the top of the well. They pulled the bucket over the side, drinking deeply from the water before setting it to the side for Skye.

The kobold kneeled over the large bucket, dunking his head in it and drinking greedily. The bucket tipped precariously as Jasper joined Skye, and Cas set a foot on the edge, keeping it from spilling over.

Once they’d drank their fill, the kitsune dumped the water back into the well, pulling their apple out of their pack.

“Take five before knocking?” they asked, holding the fruit up. “I’m not sure if there are freshness timers in this world and I don’t feel like finding out.”

Skye nodded, still catching his breath. He pulled out his apple, the fruit filling both his hands. He glanced at Jasper, the fox staring hungrily, and the kobold let out a quiet sigh.

“Cas, do you think I could borrow… eh, never mind,” he decided, looking at the length of the sword on the kitsune’s back. “We need a knife…”

Taking a large bite of the apple, the kobold tossed the fruit to Jasper, the fox catching it with a happy crunch. The bite had been nice, and he would cherish the brief taste for as long as it lasted.

“A knife, some clothes, a room for the night…” Cas said, ticking their fingers. “How much gold do we have? I need to sell my spare sword, if they’ll even buy it here.”

“I don’t see why they wouldn’t,” Sky frowned. “We have… five copper apiece? I’m thinking that equates one silver, just based on the cost of my spear. If it’s a hundred copper to a silver, then Brett screwed us royally.”

“I mean, he tried to either way,” Cas grimaced.

“I probably should have put a point in appraise,” Skye sighed.

“Yeah, but I doubt that was a class skill for you,” Cas pointed out, still munching on their apple. “It wasn’t for me either.”

They handed the rest to Skye, the kobold blinking in surprise.

“What, did you think I was going to let you starve?”

Skye shrugged, biting into what was left of the apple. He finished surprisingly fast, a seed left in his hand as the core vanished. Frowning, the shaman looked at Jasper, the fox spitting out a seed. The kobold picked it up, setting both seeds in his bag. Checking his inventory, Skye found the seeds in a separate section for alchemical materials, though they didn’t have a price next to them.

“Well that’s useful…”

Fully sated, the kobold straightened up, closing out of his inventory.

“Well, let’s deliver this pie and then see about getting somewhere warm.”

“You could climb into my fur. I’m still feeling nice and warm myself,” Cas grinned.

“Maybe later,” Skye shrugged, heading back toward the small house with the kiln.

He knocked on the door, hearing the loud grumble of a man on the other side. The door opened, a tall man with short dark hair standing on the other side. John Potter.

“Beastkin adventurers? I’m guessing Brett sent one of his pies, huh?” the man said.

“Yep,” Caspian said, as Skye pulled the pie out of his inventory.

The kobold handed it over, Potter taking the still warm pie with a deep breath. Skye didn’t blame him, it smelled delicious, even after being stuck in his bag for nearly five hours of trekking through the hills.

“That’s two copper and fifty experience each. If I were you, I’d spend those coppers up at the Salted Hog. They run a deal for new adventurers, two copper for a room. Plus, if you’re lucky, you might run into my son. He’s trying to become a bard. Isn’t too good at it, but he’s working on that.”

“Thanks,” Cas smiled, as they pocketed their coins. “We’ll head over there now.”

“You two have a good night,” Potter said, winking at Skye.

The kobold’s tail lifted again and he backed away from the house, cursing inwardly. This was going to be a major problem.

They pushed through the wooden door, Skye letting out a shivering sigh as he entered the heated room. It made Cas chuckle, and Skye sent his partner a glare.

“You try running around while your blood is freezing and tell me this heat isn’t bliss.”

Cas rolled their eyes as they approached a counter, a large bear of a man standing behind the counter. A large boar was sitting on a platter behind him, a series of knives beside it, and Skye’s mouth watered at the aroma coming from the pig.

“Good evening James,” Cas smiled at the man. “We were told you have rooms for adventurers?”

“Yup, two copper a night,” James nodded, his deep voice rumbling through the room. “For an extra copper, you get dinner. Two extra, dinner and breakfast. If you don’t have the coin, a deal can be made.”

His eyes wandered over the two appraisingly, Skye shivering.

“No no, we have the coin,” the kobold said quickly, pulling out four coppers.

“Shame, you’re really cute,” James smirked, grabbing the coins. “For you, a dinner and a show…”

Skye was left fighting his tail yet again, his face burning with the man’s words.

“No, we’re really alright,” Cas insisted. “We just need a room and some food. And maybe some advice on making gold?”

“Oh, now that comes free of charge. Most adventurers do odd jobs for people around here. Eventually they move on, but this place is not bad for cutting your teeth,” James said, slicing into the hog. “Depending on what you can do, you can find tasks ranging from picking herbs for Old Gardner to hunting deer for Corwin to work. In fact, a lot of people actually post jobs on the board over there.”

He pointed across the tavern at a board before setting a plate before each of them. Skye stared at the massive pile of meat in front of him. After that apple, there was no way he could finish this food. But he began eating regardless, feeding every other bite to Jasper. The fox seemed to enjoy the meat, yet even he was filled up quickly.

“Give it here.”

Cas dragged Skye’s unfinished meal toward them, beginning to eat hungrily. The kobold was surprised at the kitsune’s appetite; Cas had eaten like a bird back on Earth. Maybe it was something about the new bodies? Obviously Skye couldn’t eat that much; he was tiny.

A mug of wine was set before them, Skye blinking at the burgundy liquid. He tasted it cautiously, finding it almost too strong, but it was liquid, and he drank regardless of the strength. Maybe this body needed to get used to it. Or maybe his constitution of ten was affecting his resistance to the alcohol. Either way, he needed to stop getting so surprised all the time. This was a new, relatively unknown, world. He couldn’t expect everything to be the same here. Like the twelve year old with his father in the middle of the tavern, drinking from a mug almost as big as Skye’s. He could almost guarantee that wasn’t water in that mug.

“Hey James, do you know a place where the goblins gather?” Cas asked beside him, drawing Skye’s attention.

“Sure, everyone knows to avoid Blackroot Cave to the north if you don’t want to get fucked,” the man shrugged, setting a key in front of Skye. “If you’re looking for sex, I can give it to you without the cost of losing your head.”

“Nah, I’m just looking for a place to practice my fighting,” Cas replied as Skye sent the key to his inventory.

“Oh, well you want the guardhouse then, near the wall. The guards here are on a ten man rotation, two on, four off, four on break. The four off are generally good for sparring with. Trust me, the goblins are not a place to practice for new adventurers.”

“Thanks for the advice,” Cas smiled, drinking their wine happily.

“Careful Cas, this stuff is strong,” Skye frowned.

“Nah, it’s like water,” Cas shrugged. “I think the little kobold has a problem with his liquor.”

Skye sighed, opening his menu to poke around a bit. The first thing that hit him was he had an experience bar on the stat page. And two buffs, drunk, giving a two point buff to his strength and constitution, and hearty meal, giving a bonus point to his fortitude, will, and reflex scores. Both seemed to last for only four hours, the little number beside them sitting almost menacingly, reminding Skye of the passage of time.

Moving to his skill page, the shaman found an upgrade button next to each of his skills, asking to upgrade at the cost of a hundred xp a point. He let out a small laugh, looking at his current xp of 150 out of a thousand needed to level. Who knew how easy it was to gain experience? For now, he wanted to focus on saving up.

“I think it’s time we head to bed,” he said, sliding his mug back to James. “Come on Cas, Jasper…”

Standing up, the short scalie pulled at his fox companions, pushing them toward the stairs to the rooms James had pointed out earlier.

The door closed heavily, locking them in a pitchblack room. Skye took a moment to bring up his menu, switching to the spells tab as a thump sounded.

“Let there be light.”

A bright orb appeared at the tip of his spear, flooding the small room with light, and the kobold smiled. Apparently that spell would be very useful. Their bags went against a wall, Jasper curling up happily on them, the fennec’s eyes staring at the two.

“Please tell me you’re going to make a pretty girl appear next,” Cas muttered, flopping on a straw mattress.

“I can’t find a spell in here for that,” Skye shrugged. “Though my inventory does have half of a recipe for apple pie.”

“Eh, can’t have everything be nice I guess.”

The kitsune rolled over, their butt up in the air and their fluffy tail flicking lazily as they stretched out. Yet again Skye’s tail was raising, and the kobold groaned.

“Maybe you should stop that. I’m getting all hot and bothered.”

“Why? I’m sure Jasper does it, and you don’t get all hot and bothered when he does.”

“That’s because he is a fox who doesn’t have a sentient mind. He is so completely off the table I can’t believe you brought it up. But you…”

The kobold crawled onto the bed, his small hands pressing into Cas’ leg as he climbed over the kitsune. Cas let out a breathy moan, slumping back into the mattress as Skye massaged them.

“You owe me a butt massage, remember?” Skye murmured.

“Mhmmm…”

Cas rolled over, Skye falling off their back. They patted their stomach lightly, Skye crawling back on carefully.

“Relax, you’re really light. I barely notice you,” Cas chuckled.

Their hands reached around, scooting Skye up their body until he was sitting just above their groin. Then their hands went to work, playing with the kobold’s tail, kneading the soft mounds of his ass as Skye let out a low series of chirps.

“Is that a good sign?” Cas asked.

“Yeah…” Skye breathed, leaning forward until he was laying over Cas’ chest.

The light suddenly went out again, plunging them into darkness, and Skye groaned.

“Light…”

His hand lit up, the kobold rolling off of Cas to search the room. He found a candle and a small rock next to a steel rod, resting in a small box of wood shavings.

“Cas, do you remember anything from your scout days?”

“About creating light?” Cas frowned. “No, it was mostly bake this, sell that. My mom made me skip the camping parts, said they were too manly.”

“Well shit.”

Looking at the flint and steel, Skye sighed heavily.

“Cas, your mom was a bitch…”

He began striking the rock against the steel, trying to figure out how to make them spark. At least, they were supposed to spark…

“Here, let me see them. I think I can figure this out,” Cas said, stepping up behind the kobold.

Skye handed the objects over, hearing a quiet clicking, followed by the sound of Cas blowing. Suddenly there was a flickering light, the kitsune holding the candle to a small flame in the wood chips.

“How did you do that?” Skye demanded.

“Survival skill,” Cas shrugged, setting the lit candle on the desk before snuffing the other flame with a pinch of their fingers.

“Showoff…”

“Says the kobold who can blow people up with a word,” Cas smirked. “So which skill should I upgrade first? I’m thinking longsword, just for early grinding.”

“I’m saving for a new level,” Skye replied, climbing back onto the bed.

He frowned as a clock appeared in front of him, asking how long he wanted to sleep for. Though it lacked numbers for telling the actual time, Skye could easily tell between the various times of day, midnight, dawn, morning, late morning, midday, early afternoon, dusk, evening, and night.

“What the fuck?”

“What?”

“We apparently aren’t supposed to fall asleep naturally,” the kobold said. “Where was this when you were groping me?”

“Massaging. I don’t grope,” Cas said, joining the kobold.

“Yeah, sure you don’t.”

“Fuck that’s weird,” Cas added. “What if we set a time and are attacked while sleeping?”

“Um… okay, I’m going to try setting it for five minutes. You start shaking me in two minutes, and we’ll see what happens.”

He set the clock and closed his eyes, only to feel someone shaking him near instantly.

“That was two minutes?”

“Um… a count of one eighty, so three minutes, I think,” Cas replied. “You were out like a log, complete with snoring.”

“Really? It didn’t feel like any time at all. Why wasn’t this there earlier?”

“Maybe because we meant to use the bed for something else? Speaking of which, I wasn’t done yet.”

Laying back, the kitsune patted their belly again, Skye crawling back on top of them so Cas could reach his butt. He chittered again as he was massaged, eyes closing in bliss as he relaxed on top of his partner.

“I love you. You know that, right?”

“Of course I know, silly,” Cas chuckled, their hands travelling to play with the kobold’s tail. “Why is your ass wet?”

“Lube…” the kobold murmured, resting his head against Cas’ shoulder.

“Weird… do all asses do that here?”

“I think so, yeah. Makes sense if guys are getting pregnant. Sex needs to be comfortable, otherwise people wouldn’t do it, right?”

“Fuck if I know. Sounds reasonable though,” Cas shrugged, their large hands methodically rubbing Skye’s backside.

Their thumbs pulled at his cheeks, exposing his hole briefly before letting them fall back with a quiet smack. Skye could feel his erection growing, and he looked up at Cas, trying to see where the kitsune was going.

“You keep that up, I might need a moment to myself,” he warned.

“Mmm, well, we wouldn’t want you to have to leave the bed,” Cas murmured, their hands leaving Skye’s butt in favour of his back.

The kobold sighed as his back was massaged, his body shivering under the kitsune’s touch.

“When you’re done, maybe we should get Jasper up here so we can all cuddle together,” he said.

“Yeah. Hey Jasper, you want up?” Cas asked, looking at the dozing fennec.

The fox opened an eye lazily, yawning before he crawled off their bags. Jumping onto the mattress, he nosed his way between them, knocking Skye off of Cas before curling up on the larger fox. Cas chuckled, holding open an arm for Skye.

“Looks like I’ve been voted this world’s most comfy pillow,” they smirked.

“You’re a giant fox. Of course you’re the comfy pillow,” Skye said, his small body curling up in the crook of Cas’ arm. “I’m going to wake up at dawn, if that sounds good.”

Cas nodded, their gaze distant as they set their own mental alarm.

“I’ll see you on the other side then.”


	4. Goldhill

It felt like no time passed at all before his eyes opened, yet Skye felt completely refreshed. He could feel Cas moving beside him, but his blood was ice cold yet again, and Skye found he could barely move. He wasn’t sure if that was from the cold or from the huge fennec sprawled over his chest though.

Sighing, he went through his menu, looking for some way to negate this whole cold blood bullshit. As he reached his list of spells, Skye’s eyes lit up. There were two pages of orisons, and the kobold wondered how he had learned them overnight. Then he realized he was supposed to pick three, and things made a little more sense. It was a strange way of handling the spells, but he didn’t mind. It let him try new things out daily.

Besides Bleed, there was only one other offensive cantrip, and it required the caster to touch the target. He stuck with Bleed. The last thing Skye wanted was to be a healer in melee. Other than that, the shaman kept his Stabilize spell as a low heal spell, before scanning the more utility based orisons.

Mending, Detection of various varieties, even a spell for reading magic. But as his eyes landed on a water creation spell, Skye grabbed it eagerly, remembering the dryness of his throat the night before. It would be an invaluable spell on the road.

His first level spells were a little more difficult. Skye kept the cure spell; it was his best damage dealer. He had a detect undead spell that seemed permanently selected, and when he read the spell itself, the kobold realised it was a spell granted by Jasper as a life spirit. What detecting undead had to do with life was beyond him, but he wasn’t going to question it too much. It was a free third spell, in a level that only gave him two spells to work with.

Scanning through the options, he found a speed spell that would probably help him keep up with Cas if they needed to run anywhere. It had a range of touch, but if he was just touching himself, it should work fine.

Another section in the spells opened, Skye looking over options for his race. Low light vision that allowed him to see in dim lighting, a bonus on the miner profession and trapmaking, a natural armour bonus that removed one point of damage from every physical attack he received… and his speed was normal? Skye shrugged at that. It must mean Cas had a speed buff somewhere.

The last two options interested him more, a trait bonus to the alchemy profession and the ability to cast Prestidigitation three times a day to heat or cool items, perform a minor trick such as lighting a candle at range, or even conjure minor objects such as fragile coins or flowers. It seemed severely limited, but it would have helped so much the previous evening.

Closing out his menu, the kobold took a shivering breath, snapping his fingers.

“Prestidigitation: warm skin.”

He felt a gentle flush creeping over him slowly, his body starting to warm, and the shaman let out a grateful sigh. Sure, he was down to two more casts of that today, but he was warm, and it hadn’t even taken any mana. That was a major victory in his book.

Cas looked up from where they were sitting with two longswords.

“You’re finally out of your trance? I figured I shouldn’t interrupt you, you and Jasper looked rather busy,” the kitsune said, motioning to the fennec, whose head was still laying across Skye’s chest.

The fox looked up, licking his nose as Skye shrugged.

“I think he was just sharing spell options with me,” the kobold shrugged, pushing Jasper off his chest.

He took a moment to scratch behind the fox’s ears, and the fennec’s eyes closed as he stretched out happily.

“Eh, whatever. I just swing my sword and shit dies. I’m happy that way,” Cas said. “But I was thinking we should sell my spare sword. I can’t use it with one hand, and it’s just taking up space. Besides, we could use the gold.”

“Silver, right?”

“Uh, no, selling it gives five gold. It’s worth fifty gold. Feels like a ripoff if you ask me,” the kitsune shrugged. “But hey, if it means we can keep a roof over our heads, let’s get all the swords we can find.”

“My spear is only five silver,” Skye frowned. “I don’t think selling weapons is going to be as lucrative as we think.”

“Well I’m thinking it doesn’t pay to sit here and think. Why don’t we go get some quests done and see how we’re doing after that? Though we might want to pick up some supplies first.”

Skye nodded his agreement, pulling his bag onto his shoulders. He opened the door before blowing out the candle and accepting his spear from Cas.

“If we can get some pants at the very least…”

“I don’t know, I kinda like watching your ass wiggle as you waddle on those little kobold legs,” Cas smirked.

“Gods you’re perverted,” Skye grumbled, whistling briefly for Jasper.

The fennec bounced past them, pacing anxiously outside the room as he waited for them to hurry.

“Yeah, but I can feel you staring at my ass too,” Cas added.

“That’s because it’s right in my face.”

They made their way down to the ground floor of the tavern, finding James bent over another roast. The man looked up with a gruff smirk, taking them in.

“Morning adventurers. I hope you had a good night’s rest?”

“Yep, how about you James?” Cas asked with a smile of their own.

“Well enough. I have a request for the two of you, actually. I am running out of boars to feed people with. Could you catch me three young deer today? I can give you each two silver apiece for them, and two hundred experience each.”

Skye and Cas shared a look. Six silver each? That was an exorbitant reward. But there was no way they were giving that kind of gold up.

“Of course. Where can we hunt them?” Skye asked.

“There’s a hill west of here where they forage. It should be a good place to look,” James replied. “Before you go, you should eat some breakfast.”

“They’ll still return even if we eat them, right?” Cas asked uncomfortably.

“You mean respawn? Of course, everything respawns unless they’re really old,” James shrugged. “Don’t worry, we get their meat, and they get a nice quick nap. It’s a win win for everyone. In fact, you should probably try to grab their pelts too. Deerskin goes for a pretty silver over at Corwin’s, as I mentioned last night. Oh, and if you get the chance, John Potter’s boy ran off with a lad last night and never returned. If you can find him, I’m sure John would reward you handsomely, if you know what I mean.”

“Sure, where do you think we should start with that?” Cas asked.

“Oh, probably Blackroot Cave. You know how boys get, he probably decided to try and kill a goblin,” James said, rolling his eyes.

“But you said we should avoid Blackroot,” Skye frowned.

“Well, yeah. But are you going to let him be skewered by goblins?” the man replied, setting plates in front of them.

Skye shrugged helplessly. The man had a point, though the kobold didn’t like it. He cut his portion of meat in half, tossing it down to Jasper, who started munching hungrily on the offering.

“What about a place to sell some weapons?” Cas added.

“Mmm, guards might be able to help. They usually use clubs, but if you could outfit them, even just with weapons, you’d be doing this place a major favour,” James suggested.

Skye opened his menu, heading to the journal tab to see about making notes. There was no way he would be able to remember all of this. To his delight, the notes were already there, complete with flavour text about the area that he read through eagerly while eating. 

“There’s a pond near the cave?” he asked, closing out the menu.

“Er… I think so. It makes sense, the last time they captured me, there was a stream running through the cave. It had to lead somewhere,” James said.

“You? You’ve been captured by the goblins?” Cas asked in surprise.

“Well yeah. I may look like a scrapper, but if it’s a choice between taking it up the ass or just being gutted, I’ll take the sex any day,” James smirked, offering them a couple drinks.

Skye denied the wine, but accepted an empty cup, using it to practice his water spell. Drinking deeply, the kobold let out a satisfied sigh, looking at his empty plate. He felt comfortably full, and Jasper was fed too. A copper well spent.

“Now remember, prices go up to the normal eight copper for the full Salted Hog experience tonight,” James said. “Only one discount per adventurer.

“Well, technically that would mean we get two discounts,” Cas pointed out.

“Nope, in case you didn’t notice, cutie here ate free,” the man smirked, pointing at Skye.

The kobold blushed deeply, ducking his head as his hand grabbed discreetly at his tail, trying to keep it down.

“Um, thanks…”

“Of course, though if you really wanted to thank me…” James winked.

“No, we should get going actually,” Cas said, nudging Skye out of the chair. “Thanks for breakfast James. We’ll see about getting you those deer, okay?”

“Thank you. I’ll see you this evening.”

“Fuck, they really want you Skye.”

The kobold grumbled as they left the tavern, his spear clacking with every tap on the ground.

“I think lolis are universal,” he muttered, Cas bursting into laughter.

“Well this is the right genre, right? Look at you, the cute blushing kid every weeb wants to bone… But don’t worry cops, he’s actually a thousand year old god!”

“Shut up,” Skye scowled, starting down the hill.

Near the hamlet gate, they found a man setting up a merchant stall, the two stepping toward him.

“Sorry, I’m not ready for the day yet,” the man waved them off, and Skye shrugged before motioning toward the guardhouse against the hamlet wall.

They redirected their steps, entering the candlelit dwelling a minute later.

“Hey, adventurers are not allowed in here,” a large man said, walking toward the two.

“We have weapons to sell, sir,” Cas said, taking a step back uncertainly.

It made Skye chuckle even as the kobold took two steps back, Cas losing an intimidation check with a guard. Apparently one skill point wasn’t that impressive.

“Weapons eh? What are we talking about, swords? Bows? Maybe even an axe?” the man asked, his demeanor changing instantly.

“Just a longsword and a spear,” Cas said as Skye hung back.

They pulled out their spare blade, the guard looking like a kid in a candy shop.

“That is a nice blade…” he nearly drooled, reaching out to touch it. “The other guards and I could gather maybe fifty silver for it…”

“And my spear?” Skye asked, pulling the second spear from his bag.

“Fifty five silver for the two of them?” Cas suggested.

The man’s eyes flicked between the two weapons.

“Why… why don’t you wait outside, and I’ll get the coins,” he said, motioning them out of the guardhouse.

Cas looked at Skye as the door was closed, shrugging. They sat down, setting the sword on their lap, and reached for Jasper, petting the fox silently.

“This should be enough to buy some clothes, right?” Skye mentioned.

“Probably. Or, I hope so, at least. Though maybe we should save up for some armour instead, if we’re going to be fighting.”

“Yeah, but I’m tired of everyone staring at my ass.”

“They’re going to do that regardless,” Cas sighed. “I'm trying to figure something out. How are we supposed to hunt deer with a spear and a sword?”

“I think a spear would work, but maybe we can get a bow somewhere. Or a rock. I imagine getting hit in the head with a rock would stun anyone long enough for a sword to be used,” Skye suggested. “Besides, you could probably keep up with a deer, honestly.”

“The fuck I can…”

“No, I looked at it, my speed is listed as normal. But you’re faster than me at a walk, easily. I think you have a speed bonus, and it might be enough to let you chase down a deer. Maybe if you rage you could even gain on him,” Skye insisted.

Cas’ eyes clouded slightly, the kitsune silent as they ran through their own menu. Finally they blinked again, looking at the kobold.

“Fuck, you’re right. I have an extra ten feet of movement every six seconds when wearing anything less than heavy armour. If I sprint… it should get me, what, nearly a hundred sixty feet in six seconds? How fast is a deer anyway? Damn, I can’t believe we’re actually thinking about this…”

“A horse can go, what, about five miles an hour walking? A deer should be the same…”

Skye’s brain was starting to hurt, but he pushed through the pain, trying to figure this out.

“You’re hitting near seventeen miles an hour at one sixty feet every six seconds, a deer can run… probably close to thirty miles an hour full grown, but if we’re hunting fawns… fuck, it would be hard…”

His eyes widened as he remembered his magic.

“No, no, you got this. I have a spell that would increase your speed by ten times for six seconds, as long as you run. You got this easily,” Skye said excitedly. “It beats using it to run away from battle.”

Cas’ ears flicked in barely contained excitement as the door to the guardhouse opened. The guard stepped out with a bag of coins, an apologetic look on his face.

“We found some gold, but most of the coins are silver and copper.”

“It still comes out to five gold and five silver, right?” Cas asked suspiciously.

“Of course,” the guard nodded, and Cas accepted the bag, handing the sword to the man.

Skye followed with his spear, accepting five silver from Cas. He tossed the coins into his bag, smiling at the guard.

“We’ll try to get more weapons for you from the goblins.”

“We won’t have the coin to pay for them,” the man warned.

“That’s okay, they probably won’t be the best weapons,” Skye said. “But hopefully they’ll be better than clubs.”

They stepped away from the guardhouse, Cas motioning to where the merchant now had his stall set up. Various items surrounded the stall, everything from knives to blankets to various glass jars filled with bright liquids of various colours.

“Shall we go see if he has a coat to keep your scalie parts warm?” the kitsune smirked.

“I don’t know, I kinda like staring at your tailhole,” Skye challenged. “Maybe we should keep you nude. Besides, these people probably haven’t seen actual breasts yet.”

“Fucker… I swear I will fart in your face.”

“Kinky,” Skye laughed as they approached the stall.

The merchant smiled at them, his nameplate pronouncing him William Carter. He had a rather clean appearance, as though his skin was freshly scrubbed and his clothes recently laundered.

“Welcome sers. How can I assist you today?”

“We’re looking for clothes, preferably kobold sized if you have them,” Cas said.

“Unfortunately, I do not,” William said, reaching under his stall. “But I do have this nice blanket that can keep you warm at night. You can even wear it like a cape and it would help cover your friend’s body, for only five silver.”

He pulled out a large square of fabric, offering it to the two to feel. It was very thick, heavy even, and Skye knew that it would be amazing to feel it weighted around his body. But there was no way the kobold could spend five silver on the blanket; not when there were other things they needed more.

“What about that bear trap?” Cas asked, pointing to a set of steel jaws.

“Ah, the perfect tool for hunting pesky animals that keep getting into your camping supplies,’ William beamed. “Only two gold for one, and it can even be reused.”

He took the trap down, showing them how to set the trap before triggering it with a stick. The trap bit through the stick with a loud crunch, and both Skye and Cas winced.

“We do need three deer. Maybe this can trap one of them?” Cas suggested quietly.

“Yeah, but two gold… and it’s really big. I can’t carry it,” Skye said.

“Did I mention it comes with a stake and chain for pinning struggling creatures?” Willian added, motioning to a small metal loop on the side of the trap. “The stake and chain are included in the price.”

Cas and Skye looked at each other, and the kitsune shrugged.

“I’ll buy it and carry it. It might help,” they said, pulling a couple gold out of their bag. “I don’t suppose you have any doe scent?”

William looked confused, and Skye jumped in quickly, trying to cover Cas’ mistake.

“Like a mating scent,” he said. “Something that would draw deer to the trap?”

“Oh! Sure, I think I still have some scent from the last hunter I lo- er, found on the trail,” William replied, looking through his supplies.

“And maybe a skinning knife or a dagger too,” Cas added.

“Daggers I have plenty of, two gold each,” William said, setting a small vial on the stall counter. “A bit of this applied over the trap should mask your scent and make it easier to lure in animals. Two silver.”

This was getting outrageously expensive, and Skye wasn’t sure it was worth the price, but they needed a knife, and the scent would help with their task.

“Is it just me or is the economy here unbalanced?” Cas muttered.

“No, it seems off,” Skye agreed. “Maybe it’s not geared toward low levels? I feel like I’m going to need to suck dick here to get ahead… It’s almost as bad as Earth.”

“No electric bill though,” Cas mentioned. “Or car payments, or-”

“Yeah, I get it,” Skye grunted, pulling out two silver. “If we’re going to collect the pelts, get the knife.”

“Well yeah, that’s what would make all of this worth it.”

The kitsune slid the extra coins over the counter, handing the sheathed dagger to their boyfriend.

“Better for you to have it, for defense,” Cas said.

Skye shrugged, taking the giant knife and buckling it to his waist. It felt like a sword hanging off his hip, and the kobold felt just a little more powerful. It was a false sense of course, and he knew it, but Skye was going to bathe in the confidence for a bit anyway.


	5. Mighty Hunters

“Well this fucking sucks…”

Skye uncrossed his legs, staring out from a bush. They had been waiting for nearly thirty minutes after a two hour hike into the hills, and he was bored out of his mind. Weapons were ready, the trap was set, and they made sure to remain downwind, but nothing was moving around them.

Just getting the trap set had been an ordeal. Skye had to spend his experience on the disable device skill to figure out how to set the trap, and Cas had nearly lost his hand trying to apply the scent to it. They had debated using their rest option to wait for a deer to show up, but Skye had decided against it, on the off chance that the deer wouldn’t trigger their rest to end.

“Maybe we should have gotten off the trail?” he suggested.

“Nah, why wouldn’t the deer use the road for travel? It’s easier than trying to break through the brush and risk falling off an incline,” Cas replied.

“But do they know that?”

The tall grass bristled in front of them, Cas holding up a hand as he focused on the movement. Skye held his breath, his hand ready to cast if needed.

A head slipped from the brush, eyes scanning warily. A series of grunts escaped the deer, sounding almost like he was burping to Skye. He stepped forward as another rustle sounded, and a smaller deer snuck out of the brush.

Near instantly they clashed, grunts turning into wheezes and snorts as the first deer tried to intimidate the second. Their feet danced perilously close to the trap, the two observers waiting anxiously for that one wrong move.

There was a sudden snap as the smaller buck stepped on the trigger.

Skye slapped Cas’ thigh with his spell, yelling out “Cheetah’s sprint!”

The fox blurred as they shot forward, sword gleaming as the other deer tried to escape. Launching themself onto the buck’s back, Cas was carried off as Skye approached the trapped deer, the younger buck screaming at him and the world in general.

He jabbed his spear into the deer’s head, silencing the screams, and the kobold let out a shaky breath. The brush rustled again, and a headless deer corpse flew at him, landing just next to Skye as Cas emerged from the grass.

“Well that was fun…” the fox panted, trying to wipe the deer blood out of their fur. “I can honestly say I’ve never tackled a deer before.”

“Ugh… the mimic didn’t have this much blood,” Skye muttered, looking away from Cas.

“Yeah, well, let’s skin these suckers and try to find our next victim,” Cas said, holding out their hand.

Skye frowned at the hand, confused.

“Your wand Lucius. I require it,” Cas said in an imperious voice, pointing at the dagger on Skye’s hip.

Rolling his eyes, the kobold pulled it out of the sheath, handing the hilt to the bloodrager.

“Don’t fuck up, we need all three to have even the slightest chance of making our money back,” he warned.

“Yeah yeah, look, just let the fox with the survival skill take care of this. It shouldn’t take longer than an hour for both… though I have no idea how we’re going to get a third. Or get them back to Goldhill. I’m not sure they’ll fit in our inventory. You get to carry the hides.”

“Okay, sure, just… just tell me when you’re done,” Skye said, walking away.

“I… I’m done?”

Frowning, the kobold turned back, frowning at the sight of a rolled up hide. Nothing but eviscerated bones remained of the first deer, though the smaller buck had yet to be touched.

“What? How?” he demanded.

“I… just started cutting and… I guess my survival skill was high enough? It’s like a five right now. Like, I could feel it was difficult, but not that difficult,” Cas shrugged. “It just… peeled right off, and the rest went into my bag.”

Their eyes glazed briefly, and they nodded.

“Yeah, I have about forty pounds of meat in my inventory. And yes, it’s a little heavy. But this one is smaller, so we should get a little less meat from it.”

“But we were supposed to get three deer,” Skye frowned. “Will James take the meat?”

“He should. I don’t see why not,” Cas shrugged, grunting quietly as they released the bear trap from the other deer. “Besides, storing the meat in our inventory should keep it fresher, if the pie from yesterday is anything to go by.”

Skye had to admit they had a point. The last thing he wanted was to be eating diseased meat. Frowning at his half full mana bar, the kobold tried to figure out why the spell had taken an extra point.

Moving through his menu, he realized the spell was supposed to be personal. By casting it on Cas, he’d used his reach feat to bring it up to a second level spell, forcing it to take one extra spell point. He wasn’t sure if that meant he could use second level spells, but Skye doubted it. It almost seemed broken, but then, if he didn’t rest for an hour now, their next hunt would almost certainly take the rest of his mana.

“Hey, I’m a quarter of the way to my second level,” Cas mentioned, tossing the second hide at the kobold.

Sky caught the roll with a grunt, pulling off his bag as his menu closed. The hide vanished into his inventory, the bag taking on nearly six pounds of weight

“Next deer needs to be a little smaller. This shit is heavier than I expected,” Cas grunted as they pulled on their own bag. “Oh, hey, I got you a deer peen.”

They tossed a furry object at the kobold, Skye ducking instinctively.

“Ew! Why would I want that?”

“I dunno. I heard somewhere that they’re good for sex.”

“Are you sure you aren’t thinking about tigers again?”

An ear deafening, warbling chitter escaped the kitsune, Cas slapping a hand over their muzzle as Skye let out a laugh. Nearby, Jasper’s ears twitched, the fennec looking at the giant fox in confusion while sniffing the air.

“Look at you, getting all frisky with tiger peen, you fucking furry,” the kobold smirked, pointing at the fox’s tented loincloth. “At least we know your dick works here…”

“Shut up or I’ll throw another deer at you,” Cas grumbled.

“Yeah, well, you better stop with the chittering before Jasper gets all excited.”

“That ankle biter? What’s he going to do, hump my foot?”

“Fuck if I know,” Skye shrugged. “But I really don’t want to be wrestling a horny fox off you, so let’s not find out, deal?”

“Fine. Let’s just go find the other deer,” Cas grunted, shoving the trap in his bag.

“No, wait a bit, I want to regain my mana,” Skye denied. “Do you want some water?”

“‘I want to regain my mana, let me cast a spell’...”

“Fine, no water for you then,” Skye grunted, casting his spell.

Water poured from the sky, the kobold standing under the sudden deluge with his mouth open. He got a mouthful of water out of it, swallowing as Jasper lapped cautiously at the liquid. He could see Cas licking their lips, the kitsune staring at the water on the ground.

“On second thought, that sprinting did make me thirsty,” they said slowly.

“Open wide.”

Skye cast again, Jasper squealing angrily as another downpour soaked Cas and splashed precariously close to the smaller fox. Cas spluttered as the water ran over their body, shaking their fur off.

“Fuck that, we need cups or something…”

Skye let out a laugh, looking at his wet partner.

“You know, I just realized we can figure out what the fox says now. At least you aren’t so bloody anymore,” he smirked.

“Damn it Skye… how long are we waiting for?”

“Um, an hour. Why?”

“Because I’m zoning out until you’re ready to go,” the kitsune muttered.

“But what about me? Am I supposed to just sit here for an hour and wait? We can’t both zone out in the wild,” Skye protested.

“Well, use this time to play with Jasper, He looks a little lonely,” Cas shrugged, before their eyes glazed over again.

Skye sighed, sitting against a rock. The kobold looked at Jasper, wondering just what the fox was. A familiar? A spirit? Some sort of mix? He didn’t seem to act like a normal fox; they were supposed to be destructive and difficult to own. So far the fennec had been easy to handle. Cas was right though; Jasper did seem a little lonely.

“Come here Jasper,” Skye said, patting the ground beside him.

The fennec crawled toward him, hunched over with his tail between his legs. It made Skye a little worried to see the fox acting so submissively.

“I’m guessing you don’t like water, huh?” he said, scratching Jasper’s head gently. “You know Cas used to hate showers? They reminded them that they didn’t have the right body. I wonder what they think now.”

The fennec grunted quietly as his head twisted, offering the kobold a better spot to scratch. For the next hour, Skye worked his spirit animal over, slowly learning just where Jasper’s favourite spots were and which spots to avoid scratching. The time passed swiftly, and before he knew it, Cas was stirring again, the kitsune blinking slowly.

Standing up, Skye gathered his bag and his spear, Jasper dancing beside him as the fennec demanded more pets.

“No, that’s all you get for now,” Skye shook his head as Cas prepared beside them.

“Well, let’s get our last deer,” the kitsune said, looking between Skye and Jasper. “Now there’s a happy fennec… I think…”

“He better be. I just spent an entire hour petting him.”

Cas shrugged, looking between the two as they dropped their heavy bag.

“Well, if it’s for a needy fox, I suppose we can wait a few more minutes.”

They snuck through the grass, Cas’ survival skill leading them off the beaten path toward what seemed to be a small cave. Skye hoped it wasn’t the infamous Blackroot Cave; it seemed too small even for a goblin home.

Creeping forward, Cas held up a silent hand, pointing into the cave where a single deer was sitting on his knees, eyes closed.

“Is he asleep?” Skye murmured.

“Not for long. I’m pretty sure as soon as I step closer, he’ll bolt.”

“How far is he?”

The kitsune frowned, eyes scanning the distance between them.

“Not close enough for a sprint,” they decided. “But maybe we could get a little closer…”

Straightening slightly, the fox crept a little closer before Skye grabbed their leg.

“Wait!” the kobold hissed, pointing at a group of six green skinned goblins stalking slowly toward the deer cave.

“Fuck… they’re going to scare it off!”

“A fighter and five warriors, six hit points each,” Skye murmured, information flashing in front of his eyes. “We can’t take them all, but if you could ride the deer, you might take a few of them chasing you. We’d get the buck, and we’d get the xp from a couple goblins each. Do you think you could take out three or four of them?”

Cas nodded slowly, taking the dagger from Skye. They belted it on, before drawing their sword.

“I’ll meet you back here in maybe two, three minutes,” they said. “Try not to die.”

“Got it,” Skye said, his heart pounding. “Ready?”

They moved forward just a little further, before Cas nodded. Skye slapped the spell onto his partner, the bloodrager taking off like a bullet from a gun. The goblins all screamed as the kitsune sprinted past, Sky standing up and launching a cure spell at the largest goblin, barely twenty feet away.

The creature swelled as positive energy made him glow, suddenly exploding as his companions looked on in horror. An instant later, the deer scrambled out of the cave, Cas holding on for dear life, and with a howl, the goblins started chasing after the two.

Skye stood up, his mana spent, but his orisons still available. He threw a bleed spell on the nearest goblin, the creature squealing as blood erupted from his chest. The group froze, torn between the fleeing deer and the caster. Their indecision allowed Skye to get off another strike, another goblin brought down to half health by a word. The kobold wasn’t sure why he had been worried, this was like shooting fish in a barrel.

And then they charged him.

Five goblins, two bleeding, ran at the kobold, Skye barely able to brace his spear against the ground before the first goblin impaled himself on the point. Swinging the weapon to knock the goblin off, Skye ducked around a spear thrust, another goblin dropping as blood flowed from his chest. Another spear pierced his side, and Skye grunted as a brief flash of pain informed him he had been injured. A red bar dropped by a third in the corner of his vision, Skye making a note of it as he turned to knock the goblin on the head with the haft of his weapon.

Bleed damage saved his life, leaving only two more of the monsters facing him as their comrades died from his earlier spells. There was a loud bellow, and a sword cleaved through one of the remaining goblins, Skye letting out a relieved grunt as he knocked a spear aside. Cas jumped beside the kobold, their blade decapitating the last goblin in a shower of sparks, and the kitsune took a deep breath.

“You okay?”

“Yeah. On second thought, I probably should have waited before casting,” Skye panted. “It’s only three damage though… er, two damage… one…”

He let out a shaky laugh as his injuries healed, negating the thought of channeling energy.

“How’s the deer?”

“Dead and ready to be carved. If you want to deal with the goblin loot, I’ll grab the deer loot,” Cas replied.

The fox headed off as Jasper raised his leg on one of the dead bodies. Skye let out a snort, shaking his head as he began gathering the spears and daggers from the dead. He set one of the knives on his hip, tossing the spears into his inventory. The kobold’s bag was starting to get weighed down by the deer pelts and loot, but he made space for the goblin fighter’s shortsword, knowing the guards of Goldhill would be ecstatic to have this gear.

The bodies faded away as Cas returned, Skye grimacing.

“Okay, I think it’s time for us to get out of here before our friends respawn,” the kobold said. “Somehow I doubt Jasper’s pee will have any effect on their respawning.”

He took the last hide from Cas, shoving it into his bag before turning back the way they had come.

“Where are you going?” Cas demanded. “Goldhill is east of here. That’s south.”

“It is? I thought we came from there,” Skye frowned.

“Well yeah, but it would be faster to go around the cave, not away,” Cas pointed out. “Look, the road comes through that gulch.”

“All these hills are confusing,” Skye grumbled, following the kitsune. “Why are you walking so slow?”

“You try walking with over a hundred pounds of deer meat,” Cas retorted. “You have, what, forty pounds on your back?”

Skye glanced at his menu, nodding. His XP had gone through the roof from that fight, and his spear had an affinity point, along with nearly fifty eight experience points dedicated solely to the weapon. There were four more categories in the weapons list, brace, two handed, reach, and spear, each with fifty eight xp. A rush of excitement ran through the kobold at the thought of the levelling this implied. Extra damage with various weapons? Maybe he needed to work more on weapons and less on magic.

“Hey, I’m only like 250 xp from levelling. Think we could stop and kill a couple more goblins?”

“Fuck no. I want to get back to Goldhill and give James this crap.”

“Eh, maybe we’ll get an extra fifty xp somewhere else,” the kobold sighed. “How are you looking? Need any water?”

“Skye, I swear, if you soak me again, I will club you with a hundred pounds of deer meat.”

Skye chuckled quietly, slowly drawing ahead of the kobold. They reached the road after nearly half an hour of trekking through the wilderness, the excitement dying quickly as they realized they still had nearly three hours of hiking before they reached the safety of the hamlet.

“Okay… uh… I spy something tan,” Skye said suddenly, nearly two hours into the walk.

“Damn it Skye… Jasper.”

The fox glanced up at his name, pausing in his pursuit of a grasshopper. When the two failed to mention anything else, he continued his chase, ending with a satisfying crunch.

“He’s not really tan though. More of a fiery orange,” Skye denied, watching the fennec.

“Fine, the grass.”

“There you go.”

“I’m not playing,” Cas said.

“Why not? There’s nothing else to do.”

The kitsune groaned quietly, plodding along as Skye stared at their butt.

“You know, with all this walking, I bet we’ll look like models soon enough. Your butt looks good enough to bury my face in already.”

“Look, can we just walk?”

“Why? Is someone grumpy?” Skye smirked. “Come on Cas, we just fought off a bunch of goblins. And you got to ride a deer.”

“Yeah, and now I’m tired,” the kitsune said, scowling at the kobold.

“Well hurry up then and let’s get back to the inn so I can give you a massage. Unless you want one here in the dirt?”

“No, I’ll wait,” Cas sighed dramatically.

“My legs are starting to hurt though,” Skye added, shooting a look at the fox.

“God no. Just… no Skye.”

The kobold snorted, shaking his head.

“I’m joking.”

“Horrible joke, no stars…”

“Oh come on, even Orion’s waist gets three stars, and that’s just empty space.”

“God damn it Skye… Your jokes are cringe worthy. And not in a good way.”

“Well damn, who died and made you ruler of the joke nazis?”

“I did,” Cas shrugged as they passed a large stone. “Oh thank god, Goldhill’s only two miles away now…”

“If I had my spells, we could try sprinting again,” Skye said.

“At this point, it’s faster if we just walk.”

“We never did find the bard though. Maybe we should at least try to look?”

“Or we can save that to be tomorrow’s problem,” Cas said. “Look, we’ve been out here for almost eight hours. I’m walking with an enormous bag filled with meat. I just want to rest.”

“Do you need my spear?” Skye offered. “It seems to be helping me walk better.”

“No, I’m fine,” Cas muttered, stepping over a rock. “Adventuring sucks.”

“Yeah, you’d think they’d find a way to streamline the whole walk around kill monsters thing. Maybe with horses?”

“Fuck, a horse would be so nice right now. I think I’m starting to see why this part is always cut from the movies. It’s so boring…”

They fell silent, the two focusing on their steps as the sun beat down on them. Even Skye felt like it was too much sun, and when the walls of Goldhill came into view, he almost wept with joy.


End file.
